Why You Should Never, Ever, Ever Get A Tattoo (but Having a Baby is Fine)

Preach it sister

The Ugly Volvo

I’m not super pro-tattoo or anti-tattoo.  I’ve debated getting one in the past but never that seriously.  But my mother is vehemently anti-tattoo.  Listed below are the reasons my mother has always given me for why I shouldn’t get a tattoo.

And I understand that she’s from a different generation.  And I love my mother very much.  She’s a really wonderful person and I’m not saying none of them is a legitimate reason, but I’m saying that after having a child, I find it really hard to take any of them seriously.

And so in case you were headed out to the tattoo parlor as we speak, here are:


1.  “A Tattoo is Forever”

Yes, a tattoo is forever.  Totally forever!  Except that a tattoo can, if needed, be erased with a laser.

 *Some of you read that and immediately thought, "I am so exhausted, please I need a laser that can temporarily erase a three year-old," but sorry, that is not a thing that exists.  

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Ceramic and Metal Braces!


Yesterday, I got braces for the first time. So I’m going to tell you about the process of my braces, I got  ceramic  on the top and metal braces on the bottom. ( picture is from Google)

so first of all, I went in to my orthodontist for a free consultation. During this consultation, the orthodontic assistant showed me a few YouTube videos on braces, talked about which ones I would be getting and price range. Then the orthodontist came in, he put on his gloves and looked around in my mouth  calling out every problem to the orthodontic assistant.

He said I had an underdeveloped jaw, an overbite,  and moderate crowding in my upper and lower teeth. my teeth  should be familiar to the public as most of the population with teeth problems have my problem. My canines are too far up compared to the rest of my teeth, and I have seen this in a lot of people.

So finally, at the age of 21 I got braces. Not only is the money a problem, but I also wanted to wait to get my wisdom teeth out before I got braces.  my wisdom teeth were all impacted so I didn’t want them to come out later and ruin my straight teeth, so I waited.

Most people will wonder how much would it cost to get braces. The cost for braces covers not only the braces themselves and the retainers, but more importantly the office visits. The Orthodontist I went to estimated a time of 21 months to wear my braces and calculated the fee correlated with that.

At my personal or the orthodontist office  the price is $6800 without insurance, with my insurance the fee  was taken down $1000 plus another thousand dollars discount for having my specific insurance company.  So I’m left with  around $4000 total.   (I live in North Carolina)

so I went yesterday  to get my braces put on and was left with quite an interesting experience. I won’t name my specific orthodontist office  but I will say that it was recommended to me by multiple friends and family who live in the area.  That being said, I was very disappointed with the amount of professionalism.

it started out with me going to the back and relaxing in an orthodontist chair. The office is set up to where the front room is the waiting room and the back room is a gigantic room full orthodontist chairs where everybody can see each other. this alone was a little bit freaky, as everybody can see and hear what’s going on with other people.  The  laid me back in the chair and orthodontic assistant  began to clean my teeth.

I have been prepared  to have my teeth cleaned and then brackets put on.  However the orthodontic assistant was focusing on my back molar teeth for so long I finally realized she had already put on three or four brackets in the back.  no warning.  Then the orthodontist comes over and starts digging around my mouth with his fingers checking everything out, when all the sudden my mother walks over to me.  She began saying “oh I don’t know about this she so far away and I don’t know if this is a good idea and  it would be hard for her to make her appointments on time and blah blah blah”  then she goes on to say  that I told her I would need to get them tightened for another three months and paperwork doesn’t say three months and I’m sitting there with his fingers still in my mouth not able to say anything.

The orthodontist and his assistant look at me like  “you crazy”  and I’m still there with his fingers and are now trying to say that I told her two months she just can’t remember and she never listens but they  didn’t understand anything.  My mom was  supposed to be waiting in the waiting room for moral support and to drive back home, I did not think I would regret bringing her by the time we left. I was so embarrassed, because I’m an adult and she’s coming in there saying things  that I never said and talking about things that I already researched in detail about and had figured out.

But anyway back to the procedure. it came to the part where they were supposed to put the mouthguard  in the  front of my mouth to put all the frontal brackets on at once. They put this white plastic thing on the inside of my lips that stretched them really painfully wide and then inserted a  plastic  sucky tube in there.  the orthodontic assistant pops mouthguard into the bottom teeth and shines an LED light onto the brackets which then glue themselves to my teeth, she then popped the mouthguard back off and left.

And I mean left,  she left me in the chair with my mouth gaping open in the sucky thing sucking all the moisture out of my mouth for about 20 to 30 minutes. I just stared at the ceiling and pain not being able to say anything  or complain. And not just the fact that I was bored and my lips hurt but also the fact that this disgusting tasting liquid was dripping down the back of my  mouth and I was holding  it with my  tongue  so I wouldn’t swallow it.  finally  I started tapping my hand hoping that they would see how impatient I was becoming, and finally they came over and finished my brackets. The  orthodontist couldn’t even stop watching TV for the  short time he was looking into my mouth. I was so so disappointed in their professionalism.

Finally the orthodontic assistant inserts the wires and my brackets, puts the tiny rubber bands on my front brackets and hands me a goodie bag.

So that was my orthodontic experience, I’ve only had them on for two days but the pain isnt  that bad at all. the most I’m having problems with is eating. My teeth were really sore but now it’s my lips and cheeks that are starting to hurt.  on a scale of 1 to 10 the pain is about a three,  so not that bad.  And as far as I can tell, there is no difference between the ceramic and the metal braces besides one being more noticeable and the other being  slightly more expensive.

Star Trek 2009 Supernova


I love Star Trek, more specifically TOS (the original series). Recently I was on youtube watching a video about all the problems with the Star Trek 2009 movie. Some trekkies and trekkers are adamant about how horrible the new movies are compared to the series but personally I think you can’t have too much of a good thing. I adore all star trek shows and movies.

That being said there were a few things that left the scientist in me a little bit…unnerved. Now we all know that the original series is ancient and they were making shit up as they went so I have no complaints about their logic or reasoning behind the episodes. However, the 2009 movie maybe should’ve dug a bit deeper into the research.

There has been one massive confusion in my mind ever since that movie that I have not seen anybody else talk about. Starfleet has to realize how incredibly dangerous fighting with black holes are. There are many theories about black holes but the writers decided this movie’s black holes would be an opening in space leading to time travel essentially. So Spock prime hits the star with the red matter and watches the star get absorbed but it had already been too late for the planet Romulus. Nero’s ship is there with Spock’s ship and they both get sucked in and spit out a few decades earlier. You know the rest if you watched the movie.

So here’s the problem. If a black hole is indeed a vessel for time travel, then didn’t Spock just move the supernova to a different place in time? Assuming there is not inter-dimensional connections, the supernova either had to be moved forward or backwards in time. If it had been sent back in time, the entire race of romulans and their planet would’ve already been annihilated before Spock was even born. So assuming time is linear, the only possible outcome is that the supernova was sent to the future. This was super dangerous for the Romulan race as it couldve gone backwards instead of forwards and then they would’ve had no chance because it would’ve been in the middle of exploding when it just popped up next to their planet and star. However I believe in the movie Nero’s ship and Spock emerged somewhere else near the Klingon borders (if you watch the commentary JJ explains they cut scenes that involved Nero and his crew being captured by Klingons and busted out of imprisonment close to when Spock prime emerges. Because there was no alliance with the klingons yet, it was either near their area or there was a rogue ship.)



Which means that supernova could appear anywhere at anytime in space and surprise-destroy whatever it ends up next to. A very dangerous situation indeed.


Now I want to point out other problems with this star situation. This star was close enough to Romulus to act as their “sun” so I’m sure they did not want their planet to explode with the star BUT, did they forget what happens when you take away a primary heat source? What happens when Earth’s sun is gone? Everything freezes, that’s what. Either way the Romulan race was doomed to die by this star.

Another thing, Romulans are about on parr with vulcans and humans when it comes to technology. So the scientists that lived on Romulus should’ve been able to detect the oncoming supernova. The slow rise in heat and etc should’ve been blatantly obvious over a few decades. Which means the Romulans had plenty of time to evacuate their planet. Even if Spock Prime promised to black hole that bitch, they still should’ve evacuated the planet because it would soon freeze over anyway.

Buuuuuuuut anyway, Spock’s my man and I love star trek. I had other problems with the star but they are all slipping my mind now.


To Tip or Not To Tip



I can feel the hate comments pouring in before I’ve even written a sentence of this. Which is why you should know as a reader that I’m opinionated, close minded and I really don’t care if you don’t like me. 

So here’s the deal, I’ve been seeing some blogs circulating about tipping waiters and servers. In these blogs (still too lazy to figure out how to add the links) everyone and I mean EVERYONE talks about how you should probably leave a 20% tip and that if you don’t have enough money to leave that kind of tip, don’t go out to eat. 

Can I just say how crazy that sounds? I know that some servers don’t get paid minimum wage but lets not forget what the definition of tip is. Tip means to give you something extra because you earned it with your bright smile, good humor, and good serving skills. A tip should not be assumed!(unless it’s really high end and it’s already been slapped on the ticket) But if you did wow a customer with your charms and you happen to get a tip, you should be delighted because now you have earned extra money than you did before!

I have tons of friends who have worked as servers and I know they always complain about bad tippers and about how the world should pay them more but here i am throwing a hard dose of reality. WE BROKE! I don’t know if you know this but America is still having financial issues here (especially working class). If I have just enough money to go out with my friends to our favorite restaurant, my tip might be far below 20%. But does that mean I should forgo a small happiness just because my server will be indignant and greedy? No, I’m still coming. 

Imagine if everybody who didn’t tip 20% stopped coming to your restaurant, do you know what would happen? It would close down and you would be jobless. Another thing is, i know that jobs are extremely hard to come by these days and being a server might not be your ideal profession. But you knew what you were going to get paid when you agreed to the job so don’t come back later and complain about the lack of minimum wage. 

Also, one last thing that I wanted to say. If a server is amazing and is nice and charming and etc, I would be inclined to give up and maybe past a 50% tip! But if you’re just going to walk in and acknowledge my existence for that small amount of time then I’m not sure if you earned the GIFT of a good tip. Especially a gift that you don’t pay taxes for. Everyone has down days, I know that. But know that you might get tipped more on an up day than a down day simply because you were more assertive. 

But before everyone whips out their pitchforks and torches, let me just insert here that I really appreciate a great server. The food chain would kind of crumble without them so I am very grateful.  Also, if you had a good server and you have the means to leave a good tip PLEASE do so. 

Did you catch everything from the new Sherlock?



New Sherlock episode!! Wow that was their best episode in the show’s history. I mean I was having heart palpitations during it, so much to talk about!!

Now the UK had it aired New Years, but the US has to wait until Jan 19th to see it on TV. Personally, I couldn’t wait. I streamed it lol. But it was AMAZING. The show got close to 10 million viewers watching it!! Wow! Now I’ve searched the internet for all of the details I might’ve missed and I decided to compile all of it here. 


1. In Reichenbach Fall, Sherlock texts “Lazarus” to his brother Mycroft while he’s on the roof and Mycroft texted back “lazarus is a go”. So lazarus is the name of Sherlock’s plan to fake his death and it has biblical roots. In the Bible, Jesus brought Lazarus back from the dead four days after his burial. Did you also know that  Mark Gatiss (who plays Mycroft Holmes) also played Professor Lazarus in Doctor Who. Whoa!


2. John Watson(Martin Freeman) is getting married to Mary!! And Mary’s real name is Amanda Abbington who is Martin Freeman’s real partner in real life


3. The couple who played Sherlock’s parents in the episode are truly Benedict Cumberbatch’s parents in real life.


4. We all had theories about the fall and how Sherlock did it, but did anybody else guess it right? The show starts off with a crazy bungee jump, a face swap with Moriarty and a heated kiss with Molly. But this turns out to be Anderson’s theory. Another girls theory plays out later where Sherlock is joking around with Moriarty on the roof and ends up kissing him too (so many fandoms spawned). But at the end of the episode, Sherlock explains that he jumped onto a huge inflatable mattress and throws a corpse that looks just like him on the ground before  taking it’s place and sticking a ball under his arm. Though Sherlock could’ve just been lying to Anderson, who knows.


Well I think that’s everything, if you found something else leave a comment. And briefly I want to mention Doctor Who. I am so pleased with the new doctor being Peter Capaldi, but I mourn Matt Smith’s departure. I love all doctors equally and I literally can not pick out a favorite. But one thing I do know is that in a recent interview that because Doctor Who is such and old show, this new season is going to go in a ‘raw different’ direction. What that means I’m not sure but I’m excited to see it. Speaking of Moffat I wanted to end with his quote about the recent doctors which I found adorable, “Ecclestion was a tiger and Tennant was, well, Tigger. Smith is an uncoordinated house cat who pretends that he meant to do that after falling off a piece of furnature.” 

Crazy Music World

Man do I hate it when singers (or any profession really) say their jobs are like fighting in a war. I accidentally watched an interview the other day where a sales person in a store claimed his job was like fighting in a war too. And nobody missed out on Kanye claiming that “I think about my family and I’m like, wow, this is like being a police officer or something, in war or something.” I mean whoa, I can understand the public outrage. 

This whole post wont be about war and whatnot but I did want to bring this up as one of the rising problems going around. Well first let me just state the obvious in that nothing is like going to war except for actually going to war. Being a rapper/singer is not even close to being a soldier or officer. But maybe if we send Kanye off to fight, he’ll come back a better man with better lyrics. My father was in Vietnam and I have known loads of people from the military. Can you imagine watching your best friend get shot through the head right next to you? Can you imagine the horror you would feel if you saw a military vehicle filled with men blow up from a landmine explosion?And what about police officers, they sometimes see the worst of humanity with the homicides and etc. 


But being a singer is NOWHERE close to being a soldier or officer. Honestly Kanye sounds weak to me, his years of being in the music industry have softened him and made him a prima donna. I could whine everyday about how walking around on my university campus might cause me to slip up and hurt myself or how my calves might be so sore that i fall. But who whines about every day problems like that? Kanye does. He says that slipping on stage might hurt him and that he’s got to think about his family. Because being wealthy, pretty and famous wasn’t enough for him.


Now I do have mad respect for singers and the music industry (yes even Justin Bieber) because I know there’s a lot of social pressure and irritation with companies and song writing, etc. Miley Cyrus has been getting a lot of hate for her recent “exposure” in the industry. With her twerking and nakedness. On the forefront of my mind I keep thinking “What a slag” but then the rest of me is actually pretty happy with how she’s doing things. Her latest album was some of her best music of all time, and a million times better than what she was making before. After I clawed through my jealousy, I can see that she’s gorgeous and that her music is better than it used to be. Plus I’ve been twerking since high school, so she didn’t exactly invent a new fad. 


And of course the madness with Beyonce. The whole world knows now that Beyonce dropped a surprise album a short time ago. Beyonce is one of my favorite singers and I was a little hurt because i thought i was out of the loop when I saw her album on itunes. But fear not, she created her new album in secret and then released it overnight and watched the world explode. She’s now making bank, and I contributed. I bought that whole album, but I almost wish I would’ve waited for the single songs to go on sale. Myself and others have talked about her album and come to the same conclusion, not up to her usual par. I still love her work but i was a little disappointed and found myself only liking 2 or 3 songs. But I do give her a thumbs up for trying to put in some positive messages in her songs and her song Heaven was really a tear jerker. 


But she is now in hot water over the song XO which uses a 6 second clip from the challenger explosion in the beginning of the song. Beyonce has since said that it was to help remember and honor the tragedy. Though I believe her statement, I think it would’ve been more believable had the whole song not been about romantic gushy stuff in a carnival with clowns and rides… 


But anywho, the music industry is a crazy place and I plan on staying clear of that area as a future profession. 

21 Things You Should Do Before You’re 21

So there is this viral blog going around online about the 23 things you should do before you’re 23. And basically the chick bashes young couples and spews some “special” ideas for things to do before you’re 23 instead of being married at 23. Google it, I’m to lazy to figure out how the hyperlink crap works. So anywho, I figured I would post a list of 21 things you should do before you’re 21.

So, I come from the tiniest town on the backside to nowhere. The closest theatre is 30minutes and the closest mall is an hour, so we have to make our own fun. Now I went to Vegas when I was 20 and hated that I was one year shy of doing all the fun things. This will be a list to help out the younger generation, because I remember how much it sucked being too young to drink (even though I’m not sure everybody really cares about that law;)

1. If you’re 18, take your friends and go to some clubs

You only need to be 18 to get into clubs, you cant drink but you can dance all night if you want

2. Do an extracurricular activity

(Personally I did karate, marching band and chorus. Nothing is more fun than being part of the marching band I tell you.)

3. Lake trips (if you live near one)

Take your friends and meet up early in the morning. Go to walmart, grab some lighter fluid, food and aluminum foil for the grill. Then head to the lake. We did this as a group of ten usually, it was tons of fun and not that expensive.

4. Pick up a nerdy habit

Watch the entire Star Trek franchise and then do the same for Star Wars. Decide which one is your calling and stick to it. (LLAP)

5. Learn How to Draw (or paint)

I’m currently doing this one!! Basically go to youtube and watch tons of videos and figure your stuff out. You’ll love being able to draw once you’ve learned it. I started painting in high school though, got pretty good at it i guess. I continued with the painting hobby all the way up through college until my new puppy (Apollo was 5 months old) found my paint while I was in class and ate it all. I spent the night in the vet hospital watching him vomit brown gooey stuff, then it took me a couple of hours and a jar of mayonnaise to get the paint out of his white fur, and a bottle of paint thinner on my carpet. Needless to say I never went back to painting.

6. Impromptu photo shoot

Get dressed up and meet up with the girls. Do some head shots, some glamour shots and then head out doors to cool locations for picture taking. Make it an album on facebook and wait for the comments telling you how beautiful you are and then you can wallow in your vanity for the rest of the week. Woo!

7.Experiment with beauty products

Ever tried wax strips? What about all the body exfoliation scrubs? Mix up perfumes (Personally I like wearing cologne now, it stays on longer and smells soooooo much better than that flowery crap. A lot of girls that I know are doing that now.)

8. Practice drinking

No no, not alcohol 😉 We all know here in America that when you turn 21, you head out and drink the night away. So get some tonic water or plain water or something and practice drinking games. Practice taking a shot, practice the circle of death, etc. Be prepared for that special 21st birthday and all those years of college. I never did and now im just now figuring out the shot.

9. DIY

I know i know, aint nobody got time for that. But, if you’re painfully bored one day go look up some DIY projects

10. Social Experiments

HAve a friend filming you when you go out and do these experiments. What you want to do is do things such as: Standing too close to someone in an elevator, a fake proposal rejection, weird pickup lines, pickup lines using song lyrics or LOTR quotes, etc…

11. Youtube

Create a youtube channel and make videos once a week. Who knows, if you get popular you might make tons of money off of it. (Refer to Jeanna Marbles, Pewdiepie, tyler oakley, etc)

12. Create a Blog

Whoa i know, it’s like inception. A blog inside of a blog? Mind boggling, or mind blogging 😀  Create a blog and keep up with it. If you can make it past three months you’re probably good to go.

13. Science Experiments.

There are tons of at home science experiments that you can do with household objects. Resort to the google to find them. Now I am a chemistry major and I do chemistry research so I have access to a lab and all the chemicals. But if you see an experiment you like but you dont have the chemicals, you can probably make them at home using more instructions from google and some over the counter meds. Chemical manufacturers are not allowed to sell it to people like us on our little lonesome so there is not much you can buy chemical wise. But here are some easy ones to look up: Exploding watermelon with rubber bands, elephant toothpaste, dancing gummy bear, etc.

14. Read/write fanfiction

You have favorite shows or movies, there are fan written stories about them. Give it a look. And if you fancy yourself a writer, try to write one.

15. Date some people

Experimenting with this is great fun. Now dont go throwing your body around and sleeping with everybody, nobody likes a slut. But feel free to date a few guys. This will help you know which guy is “the one” whenever you find him. (Research supports it)

16. Learn every detail about something specific

Intelligence is the new sexy. Learn every detail about bombs or doors or dogs or whatever. That way you can surprise and impress people during conversation.

17. Catch up on the British drama

The brits are coming up with the best tv shows of all time here in these past few years. Go online and watch Merlin, and Doctor Who, and Sherlock, etc

18. Tv shows and movies galore

What you do it get netflix, or legally *cough cough* stream  shows and movies on your computer. This literally consumes way to much of my time.

19. Racing

Race in weird things that are not cars. Go to an abandoned parking lot and go grocery cart racing, go sled racing, go racing on food trays or bicycles, etc

20. Spa nights

Get with the girls for a sleepover and bring your nail stuff and bath stuff. Hop in the hot tub/ bath with your bathing suits on and lots of bubbles and laugh hysterically all night, dont forget the face masks. Then go grab the blankets and pillows and claim a couch or floor spot so you can gossip all night

21. Bonfire!!

Probably not that exciting sounding, but go out back to one of those cow pastures and build a huge bonfire with your friends. Invite your whole highschool if you want, there’s plenty of room outdoors. Dance around the fire and throw random objects in to see if it explodes or melts (stand back) and play loud music out of all those ghetto cars that have been rigged up with unreasonably loud bass systems. (Run off and go cow tipping if you have the means)

So that’s all the stuff I did for fun when I was a little younger, some of it only works for people with some land to work with but feel free to adjust the list to city life. Tootleoo

Gay Marriages and Why You’re an Idiot

Whoa, look at that controversial title. Let’s face the raw truth about gay marriages. I classify myself as a loose christian. I believe in a higher power, but I am not convinced of everything I read in the bible. I believe it has been edited over the years, such as an adult version of Santa Clause. Be a good girl so you can get into heaven. I use the term “loose” because I have only ever been exposed to christianity, so I cant honestly say that christianity is the one and only correct religion because I am undeniably ignorant to the others. (Though if I am ever wealthy enough, I would love to travel the world and learn about the other religions)

But anyway, this post is not supposed to focus on religion. The reason i bring religion up is because that is the biggest argument against gay marriage. Marriage is about more than just defining yourself as a couple under God. Marriage is about defining yourself as a permanent couple as well as gaining the legal means in combining your financial  accounts and receiving the benefits offered to couples and their children by the government. marriage is entirely composed of documenting  who’s together and who receives these government benefits.


Adam and Eve loved each other and had children, and were defined as a couple under God; but they never had a documented marriage certificate or ceremony to prove that. Therefore, it is my opinion that marriage in our society is a human  imposed idea and that religion  should not be necessary for this process. I do not  believe that gay people will automatically go to hell simply because they  were in love.


 I know very little about politics in America and in general, but one thing I have learned growing up is that America is called the land of the free. The very definition of free is the opposite of being restrained. We claim that we are a free country and yet we restrict so much, the government pokes their nose into things that are not their business. We restrained women’s rights for so long, and when we finally gave them equality (or close to equality) it took along time for it to be accepted. Now we realize how ignorant we were back then about men and women. the same occurrence happened with African-Americans, we were  confused about the differences of skin color but grew to be knowledgeable as a nation. And now the same thing is happening with homosexuality. We as a nation are split in half on the subject, that homosexuality is  beginning to be widely known and somewhat accepted. But this is what I have to say: if we are going to claim ourselves as the land of the free, then we need to offer freedom to all. To limit this freedom would go against our very own slogan. So if you’re one of those people who are against gay marriages then perhaps you should go to a different country that does not proclaim freedom.


Now as I said this is the country of freedom, so everyone has the freedom of speech. If half of the nation wants to complain and whine about gay rights and how they should be nonexistent then they can do so, but to go out of your way and  slow the progression and evolution of our country is unacceptable. You have the right to say that you don’t like it, but you don’t have the right to stop it. We cannot claim ignorance any longer. Straighten yourself  out and worry about the real problems in America.


And do me a favor, don’t throw Bible verses at me. I own my own Bible, and have made my opinions about what I read long ago.  so if I wanted to know what Jesus said, I would find it  myself. Haters gonna hate

10 Methods of Rejecting the Guy

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been sought out by a number of guys. And because of this, i have accumulated a go to list for rejecting them. I have in fact, declared myself asexual publicly for the past few years (so don’t think Im purposefully venturing out to hurt the little boy’s feelings.) (Most of these go for dumping a guy as well)

My first and most favorite mode of rejection is the cold shoulder

1. Ignore them until they get it

This method works in almost all cases. Don’t respond to texts, don’t facebook message them back, stop liking their facebook posts. Eventually they forget about you or they at least move on in the time they were waiting on your response

If this method fails, go for the other man effect. Sometimes this can be counter effective. Because some men only want what they cant have so you have to be careful about which men you use this on.

2. Date (or pretend to) another guy

This only works on those submissive sweet types of guys.

As we continue in this list, it becomes more and more personalized, so if you’re one of those sweet girls incapable of growing some balls then some of these may not help you.

Now lets hit him with the friendzone.

3. Begin hinting that you aren’t looking for relationships, and that he’s such a good friend

Make sure you use this gently over the course of a few weeks and he should get the picture that it’s not going to happen. Remember that friendzoning is a girl’s best friend 😉 The guy will come out of it with lots of bros mourning his friendzone and he will feel comfortable in knowing that you probably do it to everybody.

If this approach does not petrify the poor soul, don’t worry. If you complete this list, he has to let you go.

Next I want you to try girlfriend hints.

4. Get your female friends to begin dropping hints about you not being into them.

The approach usually gets the guy nervous and he usually chickens out of any plans he had for the two of you.

If you’re still working your way down this list then you’ve got a parasite on your hands. And you know what kills parasites? Honesty

5. Give him a cold dash of the truth and just come outright and say “I don’t like you more than a friend”

Most men on the planet need things spelled out clearly for them to FINALLY get it, so this method usually helps all issues. People usually say that doing it in person is better and more empathetic but I almost always use the text approach. Because that awkward after conversation coupled with somebody who’s extremely antisocial is a bad mix. Besides, I’m a millennial. Doing things with electronics is what we do and it saves the guy some embarrassment of having to face you.

However, if you’ve got a persistant man on your hands (give that man a medal honestly) we’ve got more techniques to try such as the repellent.

6. Repel him without him knowing

I’ve attempted this a few times and while it is more time consuming, it is a gentle way to go because the guy leaves thinking it was his idea in the first place. What you do is take things you know he hates and do it. Poot loudly, become grossly unladylike, don’t shave anymore, forget to shower, forget to text him, hang out with your ex, criticize him and his habits.This method works for most of the remaining stragglers, and it leaves both parties happy (but not exactly on friendly terms unfortunately)

If you’ve made it this far to no avail, then you’ve got the obsessively clingy male who thinks you walk on rainbows and and poop gold. So now we’re down to the last few methods of male removal. This next step is if you are currently dating OR you’re bringing the boy to your house.

7. Encourage your family to be nasty and scary to him to make him double think his future with you

Ask your dad to threaten the boy while cleaning his shotgun, tell your mom to speak obnoxiously loud and look as unattractive as possible, have your young sibling wipe buggers on him. What guy would want to marry you with relatives like that?

This next one is a favorite of mine that I used

8. Going gay

Tell the guy that you’ve realized you like women and that you only like him as a fellow bro. Most guys back away panicked and never look at you the same way again. Though, some odd guys might keep trailing you in hopes of a threesome. This method works quickly and painlessly. You can even use it on strangers you meet in the club who try to dance with you, i just shout “Sorry, I’m gay” and they always back away with their hands in the air.

This next one is for girls that just cant shake that one guy and they really need to be rid of them. This is only advised for girls with balls of steel who have no intention of being the guys friend later.

9. Be brutally Honest

Tell him you dont like him at all and that there is no chance on god’s green earth that you’ll ever like him. Then go on to list the reasons why. Such as “your feet stink” or “I hate the way you pee in the shower” or the “you’re a slob with no job and you live with your parents”. This method is harsh and I like it. I have used it on special occasions.

My last method that I’ve used is the last resort that you should not attempt with a strong man.

10. Make him your enemy

A fine line between love and hate indeed. If he cant make you his lover, you can make him your enemy. Do this by insulting him in every way possible, throw in a few slaps and kicks to the balls and you’ve got yourself a free life (this method may require running for your life)

Now if you finished this list and you’ve still got that leech hanging onto you, marry that man. He deserves you at this point because he’s seen you at your worst and he is still there. He will never cheat and he will always want to stick it out and solve your problems as a team.